Well, I’m back. This may have been my longest stint without an original post. I did have more thoughts on the issue of burnout a little while ago, but that turned more into a unedifying rant than anything else, and I figured that living in such a way that I rely on the grace of God and the working of the Spirit would be a much greater testimony of my convictions about burnout than would be frustrated words on a blog that not too many people read.

But that said, I’ve been pretty tired as of late. Tired in almost every way. Physically, as I’ve been trying to stay active. Mentally, as I’ve tried to saturate every moment of my day with learning (praise God for podcasts. Yes, there is a sanctified use for a smartphone). Emotionally, as I’ve had to share burdens, and also reach out to people when there is very little response. Spiritually, as I think I’ve wrongly tried to assume more responsibility for people’s growth than is biblical.

Yes, I’m tired, and I know that some of that weariness hasn’t come from the right sources, but in general, I would rather be tired than not. If I’m not tired, then there is the nagging feeling that there may have been something more I could have done for the glory of God. A little more energy resisting sin, a little more effort to encourage someone who tends to be overlooked, a little more time training my body so it won’t get in the way of getting up early and setting up for church.

On that day, I want to be able to look back at my life and say that it was fully spent — that nothing was saved or reserved that could have been spent. I realize that the best way to ensure that I can say this on that day, is to be able to say it on this day.

Of course, running the race for the long haul requires wisdom and not recklessness. But I’m really starting to see that wise living doesn’t mean pursuing self preservation for its own sake (sleep now or you’ll be miserable tomorrow, say no to that ministry because it requires too much committment), but an understanding of myself and how I can glorify God best (sleep now so you can listen to someone more carefully tomorrow, say no to that ministry because you can bless the church more by focusing on this other ministry).

Just as a Christian’s money is a stewardship of God’s resources, to be invested and spent for His purposes, a Christian’s energy is a stewardship as well. How should I invest the energy He has given me? How should I spend it? Generously, no doubt. But where, and in what capacity?

Sometimes it seems as if my energy is spent for naught, which can get discouraging, but God has been more than gracious. He has been timely in showing me the wonder of salvation, in fresh ways. Whether it be a verse I’m reading one day, a song I hear on my commute, a sermon on the love of God, a devotional on the implications of the cross, or even a Bible study in the minor prophets, gospel truth always seemed to find its way into my heart. Not that I was even actively looking for it either. Instead, Gospel truth has been finding me.

Truly, gospel truth is what enables Paul to say:

“For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.” – Colossians 1:19

and John to say:

“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.” – 1 John 5:3

Keep striving, friends. Spend your strength for the Lord, but don’t grow weary. There is something good at the end.

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